Behind The Song: breathin’
At a time when everything happening to Ariana Grande was out of her hands, ‘breathin’ symbolises Grande’s attempt to take back the reigns
There’s no way to sugarcoat this. Ariana Grande has not had the smoothest of rides.
There was the bombing of her Manchester concert which killed 23 people, which resulted in a temporary delay of her Dangerous Women Tour. Following the end of her relationship with Mac Miller in May 2018, he was found dead in his apartment following a drug overdose, furthering Grande’s distress. And finally, in October of last year, her strong but whirlwind engagement with SNL comedian Pete Davidson abruptly ended in part due to overwhelming public criticism which, in later posts, Davidson revealed pushed him towards suicidal thoughts. However, like most musicians out there, Grande used the most obvious and expressive channel to vent out this bottled-in tension and anguish.
Most people are likely aware of Grande’s recent hit single thank u, next, which became her first ever number one single on the Billboard Hot 100. It’s video achieved the title of accumulating the most views within its first 24 hours of release, receiving 55.4 Million views. However, the song, which was released digitally on November 3rd, overshadowed another track.
While thank u, next signified the impending closure of Sweetener’s rather short era, there was one last song to close it off. The music video for Sweetener's final single, breathin’ was released four days after thank u, next, but it is just as great of a marvel. Compared to thank u, next’s colorful, vibrant and energetic video, breathin’ was a far more minimalistic and simple production.
You see, the entire Sweetener album was built around the premise of bringing people under the circumstances Grande was in, comfort and warmth. In essence, to sweeten their life. Think of it as the musical equivalent of comfort food. The album is filled with optimistic bangers like No Tears Left To Cry and themes such as acceptance, love, and progress all make repeated appearances through the tracklist. breathin’, however, represent a moment of tension.
Most of these songs showcase Grande as a powerful young woman who, having survived the onslaught of downfalls in her life, has come out stronger than before and with a more hopeful outlook on life. With breathin’, this optimism is instead substituted for a passive form of fear.
The production of the song is filled with major chords that invoke a sense of happiness. This could be symbolic of Grande, whose public image and appearance might showcase her as a happy and light-hearted individual. However, a quick look at the lyrics and its evident that the song is far from that.
The song opens with a confession,
Some days, things just take
Way too much of my energy
I look up and the whole room’s spinning
You take my cares away
I can so over-complicate, people tell me to medicate
Grande revealed that during the recording process of the song, she began experiencing an anxiety attack. As a result, she had to leave the studio to calm down. This is what the first verse is about. Grande, as a person, confessing to her struggles. The ‘You’ in question here is Mac Miller, who was a key factor in Grande’s recovery following the Manchester attack. A confession like this showcases Grande’s grounded nature in an album that some might say is unrealistic and ‘too good to be true’. With ‘people tell me to medicate’, Grande is emphasizing on the degree to which her anxiety controlled her. Most people use terms such as ‘anxiety’ and ‘panic attack’ frivolously in daily conversations, so Grande stating that people recommended medication shows that this was serious and wasn’t the casual day-to-day anxiety.
Her sense of fear is revealed in the next verse, which says,
Feel my blood runnin’, swear the sky’s fallin’
I know that all this shit’s fabricated
Time goes by and I can’t control my mind
Don’t know what else to try, but you tell me every time
Here, Grande is likely recollecting her state of mind during a panic attack itself. With panic attacks, an impending sense of doom is a frequent occurrence. This is likely what Grande refers to when saying, ‘swear the sky’s fallin’’. She knows that it isn’t real. She’s very much aware of the fact that whatever she’s experiencing, it is not true. However, she also acknowledges that it’s out of her control. A darker part of her has taken control of her mind and has pushed her to uncomfortable and scary places. Unfortunately, she is unable to do anything about this. With ‘Don’t know what else to try’, we see that Grande has tried everything and nothing has helped, including the medication referred previously. When someone is told that they have a certain disease or condition, there is a moderate amount of caution that is exercised, but when none of the treatments that were supposed to address it work, that’s when said caution evolves into full-grown fear. This is the emotion Grande leaves at the end of the second verse. A sense of fear owing to the futile attempts to treat her seemingly incurable anxiety.
However, that’s when the chorus kicks in.
A tip from Mac Miller, as suggested by the song, Grande has chosen to follow a far simpler routine to keep her panic attacks at bay rather than consume multiple medications and perform various complicated exercises. The chorus, which sees Grande repeating the word ‘breathin’ rather than using complex sentences, reflects this new routine. Rather than have the true meaning of the chorus hidden behind the intricacy of the language, she chooses to showcase it in its rawest form. Some might call it overly simplistic and lazy, but I personally think that it gets the message across in a crisp way that does not compromise on the overall purpose of the song, which is to help people like Grande overcome anxiety.
Musically, however, the most interesting part of the song is the bridge. We see Ariana repeat the phrase ‘My, My Air’ while an electric guitar plays in the background. The guitar induces this hypnotic sensation which seems to emulate Grande’s dizziness during an attack. Accompanying the guitar is Grande’s distorted vocals which show her gasping for her breath. Close to the end of the bridge, her gasps break up as the guitar begins to overpower the vocals. This is Grande’s distress in its rawest form. Gasping for air as her mind takes over her. That is until the chorus breaks the hypnotic spell with Grande powering through.
While the first two choruses had underlining tones of fear, this last chorus is different. It instead showcases victory, or at the very least, hints at Grande’s refusal to succumb to her anxiety. While the former choruses were cautionary instructions, this final one is a proud declaration of triumph. Not against her anxiety itself, but rather of Grande’s fear of facing it.
No one expects Ariana Grande to be ok. If anyone were to go through what she went through, they may not ever come back with the amount of optimism that she exemplifies. She could’ve very well fallen down the way Britney Spears did twelve years ago, taken some time and come back. Instead, Grande pushes through with a ferocity unlike any we’ve seen in her. Many people who do this are afraid of the past and just keep looking forward. Grande, however, as seen on breathin’, is not afraid to admit of her shortcomings and her inhibitions.
breathin’ will likely remain underneath the carpet as thank u, next becomes the song to define Ariana Grande in the coming months. However, at some point down the line, when Grande feels overwhelmed by everything going on around her, both good and bad, breathin’ might just be the one piece of music that she looks to when trying to catch a break from the prying eyes of the world.
My, my air
